Time, time, time, look what's become of me!

I know there are a few people out there who enjoy reading my blog, and more importantly I really enjoy writing it, so I really feel the time lapsing when I go awhile without writing. I've been feeling that lately. I'm not sure how long it's been but it feels like a while. It literally comes down to time.

The last month or so has seen a marked increase in the frenetic pace of our life here. Production on WOA has radically ramped up while at the same time we have begun to wrap our heads around the tasks associated with moving back to the States, and even tentatively begin to tackle some of those tasks.

Yes, we are moving back. In August. Kodiak beat the odds and got re-admitted (by lottery) into his old school in Taos, and that sealed the deal. So now we are starting the cumbersome process of disengaging from Germany.

These developments, the Burning Man project and the impending move, keep me busy, body and mind. My body is either working at BBK, getting around Berlin in one way or another, dropping Kodiak off at school, or spending (increasingly scarce) time with my family. Christina has an equally, if not even more, punishing schedule, doing all of the above and more. She is helping with my project as well as handling most of the moving logistics and also teaching welding on Saturdays.

It recently occurred to me that she and I (and Kodiak because we drag him around with us!) do things on an ambitious scale that some others only dream of. But it's not easy and in fact it's a hell of a lot of work, sometimes.

Anyway, like I said I am so busy doing all that above-mentioned stuff that it's hard to find time to sit down and write. In fact I decided to take the metro to BBK today specifically so I could write this blog post. Look... here I am, writing it!

But my mind is also so consumed with the project and the move that it's a big enough challenge for me to stay present with my family, let alone to find the mental free space required for the development of the sort of idle philosophical thoughts/observations with which I like to fill this blog.

That being said, there have been a few kernels percolating, perhaps a bit more slowly than usual. They tie together a few other threads found elsewhere herein... emotions and feelings, Alexander McQueen, (and motorcycles?)

--------- The Idle Philosophical Part ---------

It occasionally occurs to me that a very large percentage of what we humans do, especially when it comes to our non-essential (non-survival) activities, is selected specifically in order to feel something. (Or sometimes to stop feeling something.)

Motorcycling, bungie jumping, snowboarding... certainly these kinds of activities are usually undertaken for the feelings of freedom they promise.

Hugging and kissing and even sex bring feelings of closeness.

Artistic endeavors can be career-driven, but for most people (who aren't professional artists), and even sometimes for artists, this sort of activity is often done for the feelings it produces.

Meditation, exercise, drugs, hiking, lying in the sun... all these things are done to a greater or lesser degree for the feelings they produce.

I think that when people have free time, they chase after feelings.

As much as I admire Spock and Saga Noren for their lack of emotion, we humans are emotional creatures.

Maybe this is because the things we MUST do, such as work, either numb us into a state of feelingslessness, or actually produce negative feelings like stress and dread. So perhaps we need those feelings of freedom and closeness and self-actualization that leisure activities bring.

And yes, there is a tie-in to Alexander McQueen. McQueen specifically stated that he designed clothes in order to produce feelings in the wearer, as well as the observer. He intended that women wearing his clothes would feel powerful, sexy, and confident... while those observing "his" women would feel attracted to them, but also intimidated. Take a moment to let that sink in. It's awesome... to be working on that level... manipulating the emotions and ensuing interactions of people based on their clothing. It's almost a form of puppeteering.

I went to an all-boys grade school that had a school uniform. I remember that I was very excited to finally be going to high school, where I could wear whatever I wanted.

I was a soccer player in those days, and the schedule of my high school was such that soccer practice started before the academic school year. So, before I attended a single class on campus, I spent a week or two going to soccer practice. I remember there was one older fellow who commanded a lot of attention because he was charismatic and tall and blonde and handsome. I remember wondering how this guy would carry himself, would present himself, in the context of the school campus. I was sure he would show up with some awesome, individual sense of style and be an incomparable ladykiller. I was truly and genuinely shocked when school started and he showed up dressed in the same sports shoes, sports shorts and sports shirts that he wore to soccer practice. What a wasted opportunity! He was in fact something of a ladykiller, but the ladies he attracted were totally uninteresting to me. I think that was the day when I first understood the concept of a "jock," as well as the blonde, conservative girls who liked jocks.

He was probably equally shocked by me. I used to "dress up" to go to school. I was experimenting with newfound freedom. I used to dress up like rockstars such as Mike Score, Ian McCulloch or Andrew Eldritch, complete with ridiculous hairdos and hats (Andrew Eldritch is at least partly to blame for my hat problem).  I wore a lot of leather. I made my own clothes. I wanted people to be attracted to me, yet intimidated. It's a powerful feeling. Using clothes to precipitate feelings, or states of mind, is a process that I think most people (most men, certainly) don't really participate in. In an informal class poll, upon our departure at the end of senior year, I won four awards (simple math reveals that most in my class didn't win any of these mock accolades). Among the four awards were: Best Dressed, Most Likely to Have a Harem, and Most Likely to Start a Cult. I think that playing dress-up worked pretty well for me back then.

Alexander McQueen is holding my interest longer than most of my Art-Crushes, and I'm constantly asking myself why. I think this, elucidated above, is part of it.

(Fashion also works as a social filter. You know all those people with ripped black clothes and face jewelry? They are "wearing" a filter, essentially guaranteeing that only people who look like them will approach. They are the extreme example, but the same holds true all the way through every mode of dress. People who wear intimidating clothes ensure that only confident people will approach, and so on. It's a social code, and I believe it's an important part (along with eye contact, posture, etc.) of the way we size up potential romantic partners, friends, colleagues, etc. Maybe a topic to expand on another day.)

My project is going well... but again, only because I live it and breathe it, and am getting good help from Christina and Guy. Our old friend Cedar has just arrived in Berlin, staying for a month and helping to fabricate the upper part, the "Flame Burst." I don't have many friends, but I have some good ones! A few days ago we went down to the Landwehr Kanal Ufer and had a few beers at sunset.

 Very Berlin.

Kodiak and I saw some art.

Access to global, contemporary culture is something I think I will miss when we return to Taos. Thank Jeeze for the internet.

The faces for the sculpture are in the process of being cast in aluminum. They are currently in the wax stage.

Next up, the waxes will be encased in ceramic, then the whole thing is put in an oven which cures the ceramic and melts out the wax, and then finally molten aluminum is poured into the void where the wax once lived.

The torso of the figure is basically done. It was an extremely interesting bit of fabrication, insofar as it is one structure which is actually 2 structures (a steel framework and an aluminum surface) which had to be fabricated simultaneously and yet which cannot be welded together. Lots of test-fitting and careful cutting.

The cones scattered here and there are parts of the legs.

Well, I have written 100% of this post while on Berlin's public transportation.

Now I will use my phone's hotspot to publish it. 

Jeeze, what will they think of next?