Saturday, July 20, 2024

Nice Place, Nice People

I am on a plane returning to Sweden from Taos. It’s quite uncomfortable. I‘m having difficulty finding the right way to organize my body and my laptop in this confined space… so that I can write. 

Something that felt big and important happened on this trip to Taos, but I don’t quite know what it was, or how to write about it. It’s confusing. I’m confused. Maybe by the end of this blog post, I will have a better understanding of what happened, and… maybe by the end of it, you will too. 

I guess the easiest way to state it is that we all – Christina, Kodiak, and I – had a really wonderful time in Taos, and we realized that we miss it there. More specifically… we miss our people. Our community. 

Do you remember, at the end of my last post, when I said that I wasn’t looking forward to going back to Taos, but that I would probably enjoy it more than I expected? Well, yeah… like that. It happened like that. I had a lot of physical work to do in Taos, and I did it all (which means that I was working hard most of the time), but fear of that work wasn’t the reason I didn’t want to return. I think the part of my reluctance to return to Taos that I was conscious of was that I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of progress we were making in Sweden… and I think that fear was semi-legitimate, but perhaps overblown. In fact I think this little break in Taos may well turn out to be good for my flow in Sweden… but more on that later. And I think the part of my reluctance to return to Taos that I was UNconscious of was basically a fear of liking it too much, being too comfortable there, having Taos shine an unfavorable light on our life in Sweden. It was a risk. We went. We ran the risk. In 5 hours I will be back in Sweden and the readjustment will begin. I won’t make any judgments for a week or so, because jetlag is a bitch. It fucks with your sleep, which is almost exactly the same as saying that it fucks with your moods, your emotions. So no judgments for a week. 

But yeah, it was nice. I mean, not all of it. I’d rather live in the lush green Swedish embrace of our wild grass and fruit trees than the dusty dry death of the Mesa any day. And the painting and sculpture studio I build in Sweden beats the hell out of any studio I’ve ever had in Taos, and I can’t wait to work in it. But the community… wow. What a difference. I mean, don’t get me wrong… the people we know in Sweden are lovely, amazing people and I am genuinely looking forward to seeing them all (YOU all!). But really, there is something very special about being in your old home town for 3 weeks and having genuine and engaged conversations with over 100 people (there's a list below)… people you run into at parties and grocery stores and restaurants and parks… people you have missed and are happy to see… people who are happy to see you. It’s lovely. Does this mean that I want to focus even more on community-building in Sweden, deepening and broadening the friendships we have there? Yes! Or does it mean that the focus in Sweden can be on buckling down and working while Taos can be for topping up the social battery? That could work too! I’m telling you, man, it’s very confusing! 

Of course, it’s not fair to compare a place we’ve been in for just under 2 years with a place we lived for a combined total, between Christina and me, of 40 years. But despite it being unfair, of course I was comparing the two places all the time; which place has better weather, which has better work opportunities, which of our two chunks of earth is better, which workshop is better, etc., etc. But in a conversation on the topic, my friend Benito wisely said “You don’t need to compare; you’ll always be in one paradise or another.” Yes. That’s the right way to think about it. 

Back in Sweden, our metal shop is finished, as is my art studio… so now the hard work begins. What will we do there? What will we make? How will we make money? These questions have so far defied easy answers, but that’s at least in part because we’ve been so focused on building and renovating that we haven’t put much effort into answering them. The answers will come. We will apply for opportunities and the opportunities will come. I believe that. But something about this trip to Taos has focused me, sharpened me. Personally, my fantasy is to make a commitment to myself to spend at least a few hours of EVERY day in my studio, painting or sculpting, for the next 6 or 8 or 12 months so that I can not only get some work done, but even more importantly develop my own style. Go into a cocoon and develop. No outside influence. No opinions. Just me. Find the truth. The truth for me. And then paint it, and sculpt it, over and over and over again. And sell hundreds of fucking paintings! Fuck it. No time to lose. People die every day, and it might even happen to me one day. Maybe. 

As I write this, in one long flow on this plane, I’m tired and a little overwhelmed and emotional about it all. But I’ve decided to just post this, as I’ve written it, without waiting a few days to come to my senses and edit it. An honest snapshot in time. 

Did I figure out what happened in Taos? Did I make it clear? I hope you understand, because I’m not sure I do. Maybe in a week. 



You might remember that Kodiak and I started off in New Hampshire, with my brother Trevor and his family... which was super fun
















I made this list of people I saw in Taos, mostly because I wanted to count the names. If you don't live in Taos, I can't imagine that you would care... and you can skip it. 
1. Cedar 
2. Johnny Cisneros 
3. Big Giles 
4. Krizia 
5. Little Giles 
6. Elijah 
7. Todd 
8. Marlena 
9. Phil 
10. Elizabeth 
11. Peter 
12. Gregory 
13. Toby Rickabaugh 
14. Nonnah 
15. Roberta 
16. Sasha and Vida 
17. Ruby 
18. Shandra 
19. Eric 
20. Niko 
21. Satya 
22. Eric 
23. Elizabeth 
24. Sonya 
25. Dave 
26. Josh Kanizzle 
27. Lydia 
28. Jason 
29. Pamela 
30. Zoe Zimmerman 
31. Barry Norris 
32. Joan Norris 
33. Kelly Igo 
34. Scott Shaward 
35. Ron Detullio 
36. Keevan 
37. Sofia, Jen Hart's daughter 
38. Matt 
39. Richard 
40. Chris Painter 
41. Copy Queen Nicole 
42. Nicole Barady 
43. Alessandra 
44. Key (Kye) 
45. Gerd 
46. Jimmy 
47. Renee & Daisy & Ready 
48. Scott Adair 
49. Val from New Zealand 
50. Sherry Mcgraw 
51. Tom Azari 
52. Holly Azari 
53. Lynn Garlick 
54. Maury 
55. Sheila O'Malley 
56. Benito 
57. Joshlynn 
58. Jennifer Amman 
59. Kate 
60. Sam 
61. Eileen 
62. Elaine Baker 
63. Maria Zamora 
64. Kevin 
65. Nancy 
66. Charlie 
67. Olive 
68. Cozy 
69. Genevieve 
70. Oswald 
71. Tracy (Zeke's) 
72. Carl (Zeke's) 
73. Michael Lujan 
74. Amy Westphal 
75. Thomas 
76. Siri 
77. Jack 
78. Dimitri 
79. Shawn Ludwig 
80. Scott (Randalls) 
81. Claudia 
82. Cullen 
83. Anita (John Dunne shops) 
84. Kristin Swim 
85. Eric Anderson 
86. Adam Robison 
87. CJ 
88. Jemma 
89. Namani 
90. Mariah 
91. Lola 
92. Juniper 
93. Izumi 
94. Shintaro 
95. Angela Oliver 
96. Travis 
97. Jason (Jen Hart's Ex) 
98. Tara from UPS 
99. Suki and Orion 
100. Forest 
101. Aaron Shiver 
102. Cousin Amanda 
103. Ashley (Magical Tattoo) 
104. Casey from 2 Peaks
105. Steve McFarland
106. Bonnie
107. Beau